Make People Earn Your Time
Before you say yes to someone's request for your time, place a burden of responsibility on them by giving them a small task to complete first, because if they will not do that they will not act on anything you tell them over coffee.
Dandapani shares a practice his guru taught him for handling constant requests to meet, get on a call or grab coffee: give the person something to do first. He gives the example of a marketing expert who asked people to read one book and email him ten key points before meeting, and explains that energy, like money, is finite and has to be managed and earned.
What this talk covers
- His guru taught him to place a burden of responsibility onto the person asking for his time rather than simply saying yes.
- A top marketing expert in Australia was constantly asked for coffee by people who really wanted to pick his brain, so the answer was to name his favourite marketing book, ask them to read it and email ten key points that stood out, and only then set up a meeting.
- Few people actually complete the task, which is the point: it is a filter placed before the yes, and it works in any field, so for a real estate question ask them to list ten favourite properties and why, and meet only if they send it.
- People will not even send the email he asks for, and someone who will not do that will not act on anything he says over a coffee, so the meeting costs him travel time and energy for nothing.
- He calls people who drain energy without returning anything energy vampires, and manages his finite energy the way he manages money, because energy is what makes a business, a relationship and a friendship grow.
If you won't even send me an email, how is it you're gonna do any of the things I will tell you over a coffee?Dandapani
Questions
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You do not have to say no outright. Give the person a small piece of homework first, such as reading a book you recommend and sending you the ten points that stood out, and agree to meet once you receive it. Most people never do it, which answers the question for you.
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Dandapani uses the term for the people and things that drain your energy without investing it. Since energy is finite and is what makes your business, relationships and friendships grow, someone who squanders it is taking something you cannot get back.
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Because it shows whether they will act. If a person will not send a short email outlining what they want to discuss, they will not do any of the things you suggest in person, so the meeting plus the travel time is wasted.
Transcript
594 words · 2:52
One little thing that I've adopted into my life is, because I get a lot like you, you know, messages, you know, let's meet up for coffee, can you get on call this that something my guru taught me is placed a burden of responsibility onto them. So for example, there's this gentleman who's like one of the top marketing people in the
Australia region, and he, he had this problem, people always wanted to have coffee with him, they didn't really want to have coffee with him, they just wanted to pick his brain on marketing. So what I told him to say to people is that here's this book, here's 50 books, I've
I've read 50 books on marketing over the last 20 years. This is my favorite book. I want you to read this book, write down the 10 key points that stood out to you,
email it to me, and once I get it, we'll set up a time to meet so we can discuss those points and it'll help me understand where you are in your marketing journey.
How many people you think will read the book and write down the 10 key points? Not as many, right? So having a filter to the yes,
before you say yes to something, some sort of a filter. Yeah, so if someone's asking you a real estate question, Give them a homework to do something that's doable, you know, make a list of 10 of your favorite properties and why, and send it to me.
And if they do that, then meet with them, but they don't bother to do that. Don't even meet with them. What are you hoping to talk about? I'm hoping to talk about this.
Okay, great. Like here's actually a book that's great on that. The, why don't you read that book first? Let me know what you think of it.
And then we'll then, you know, we can talk about chatting after that. So having some way for them to earn, if they can earn my energy. A reminder, don't just say yes. Exactly.
Earn your energy and sometimes giving them a simple task. I tell people to send me an email outlining a few things and people won't even do that, Aaron. So if you won't even send me an email,
how is it you're gonna do any of the things I will tell you over a coffee? You're not gonna do anything. That's a waste of my time.
The travel time for me to get to the coffee shop, to come back, to sit with you. And then you don't even buy me a coffee. I have to buy my own coffee.
Yeah, yeah. Like it'd be like sucking out energy, taking energy. Yeah, and I call those people energy vampires because that's essentially what a lot of people
and things can be energy vampires that drain you of your energy. And our energy is what makes our business grows, our relationships grow, our friendships grow.
And there's only finite amount. Same way like money, right? I need money to invest into something to make my money grow.
But if I don't have enough money, then I can't invest it into something and make it grow. So I need to manage my money.
I look at energy the same way. I have a finite amount of it. I need to manage it. You need to show me you deserve it
and convince me that, you know, I should give you some of it.