Why You Feel Lost in Life
You feel lost because you have not defined a destination, and once the destination is clear it defines the journey and the path back whenever you drift off it.
Dandapani takes apart the saying that it is not about the destination but the journey, and argues the opposite. He uses his own destination with his daughter as an example, then shows how a defined path lets you notice when you have taken a wrong exit, the way a navigation app reroutes you.
What this talk covers
- The people who say it is all about the journey rather than the destination are, in his observation, people who are lost.
- Lewis Carroll's line, that if you don't know where you're going any road will get you there, is the whole problem in one sentence.
- His own destination is that his daughter knows she is one of the most important things in his life, and that defines the journey of giving her his undivided attention.
- The idea that you should have no goals and let the universe unfold everything is not working for the people who follow it, and he points out that even cooking a meal starts with deciding what you are making.
- Once you have a destination and a path, veering off it is obvious and correctable, and since life is not long enough to explore everywhere, you explore within the category you love rather than across categories.
It's all about the destination, it's not about the journey.Dandapani
Questions
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Because no destination has been defined. Dandapani says the destination defines the journey, and without one, any road will do and none of them will feel right.
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He says it is about the destination, because the destination defines the journey. Once you have defined the outcome clearly, then the journey becomes the thing you practise.
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Dandapani says set goals. He asks how the approach of having no goals and flowing with life is actually working out, and points out that we set a goal even when deciding what to cook.
Transcript
605 words · 3:17
One thing that this is bringing up for me is this notion of knowing the destination mind as a starting point. And I sense that there's this balance of working with the disturbances as they arise to clarify the subconscious while simultaneously putting your awareness on the destination of what you
want your mind to be focused on or what you want to feel like joy or happiness. Can you talk about that? For sure. I would like to also take this opportunity to dispel that other common quote that people
just share all the time, which is, it's not about the destination, it's all about the journey. And the people that say that really are people who are lost. It's all about the destination, it's not about the journey.
Because the destination defines the journey, then it becomes all about the journey. this, the author of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll has this beautiful saying. He says, if you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there. If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there.
Yeah. If you have no idea where you're going to take any damn road, you'll get there. So the first step is defining a destination. What is my destination?
My destination is I want my daughter to know that she is one of the most important things in my life. and that when I am in her physical presence, she has all of me, not physically, mentally,
emotionally, energetically. That's my destination. Now I can focus on the journey. I've defined the destination.
The journey is giving her my undivided attention, practicing that. But if I didn't articulate that destination or define the outcome clearly,
another way of seeing destination, then what would I know what to do? I'd have no idea. The new age approach is like, you know, we shouldn't have a goal.
It should just be and flow with life and let universe unfold everything for you. How's that working out for you? Not very well, is it? You got to set goals.
Even cooking, I set a goal. I'm going to make an Indian dish. Am I going to make pasta, you know, fried rice? Tell me, am I going to lose five pounds?
Am I going to lose 10 pounds? You know, am I just going to scale my business to this or that? So it is all about the destination. define the destination, then the destination defines the path
there, which is why it's so critical as well. Once you have a path, when you veer off the path, you know what to come back to. If I'm saying I'm driving from New York to Los Angeles,
Google is going to give me, I don't know, 1,000 steps or turns that I need to take. And at any point in time, I veer off the path, Google will say, like, you took the wrong exit.
Please keep going, you know, another kilometer, make a U-turn, and get back on the road. But if I didn't have a destination, I didn't have the path, I would just take the wrong exit, go down that for five years
and then realize like, what the hell am I even doing this? I don't wanna be doing this. This is an absolute waste of time. But life is not long enough to just be exploring everywhere.
Figure out what it is you want and then explore within what you love and what you're passionate about. Then it's okay to explore.
So explore within the category as opposed to categories.