I often hear people repeat this common phrase: “It’s not about the destination, it’s all about the journey.”
I disagree. I deeply believe that it’s all about the destination first. Then it becomes about the journey—because the destination defines the journey.
Imagine walking into a vast mall in search of a toy store. Without directions, you’d wander aimlessly. With a map, you go straight there. Along the way, you can enjoy the journey—explore a few stores, grab a coffee, and still know you’re headed exactly where you want to go.
Searching is not fun. Searching is frustrating. Life is not meant to be spent in search. Would you rather spend six months looking for the perfect dress—or six months wearing it? This applies to most things in life, and to life itself. But start by defining what you are searching for.
Most people go through life chasing a vague idea of what they want. Ask them to describe it in detail, and they struggle. A vague destination creates countless outcomes and countless paths. When they finally arrive somewhere, they realize it’s not what they wanted. You don’t have time to waste.
Clarity is king, and specificity its offspring. The clearer you are, the less you waste your finite time and energy wandering paths that lead nowhere you truly want to be.
Now, figuring out your overall destination in life may feel daunting. So start small. For example: What is the destination I want my mind to be in ten years from now?
Now, you may say, after time spent in focused contemplation and gathering examples from role models around you:
- I’d like my mind to be free of unresolved emotional experiences. This means I’ll spend the next ten years working to resolve any past experiences that are adversely affecting me.
- I’d like to be able to control my instinctive mind—the animal nature of me. I want to make conscious decisions about how much I eat, when I eat and drink, and choose foods that serve my body positively. I want to be in charge of my body, not have my body dominate me.
- I want to be fully present in all my experiences so as not to miss what is precious. I’ve learned, from reading these emails, that in order to be present I need to be focused. So I will work toward developing a focused mind.
These three destinations for the mind create clarity. They allow you to define the path forward and recognize when you’ve strayed. If a path does not lead to your chosen destination, why waste time there? With clarity about where you want your mind to be, you won’t get distracted by all the other options available.
Start with one area of your life—spiritual, financial, physical, etc. Get clear on what the destination looks like. Start small. Small is doable. This clarity defines your path. With that path defined, you can finally enjoy the journey.
A clear destination acts as a compass. It defines a path aligned with who we are and what we want from life. It also helps us identify people and things that are aligned—and, more importantly, those that are not. Who do we want on our journey with us? Then the journey becomes something we can enjoy—not because it is without challenge, but because it moves us toward something chosen. Even when we get distracted, the destination gives us a way back to the path.
Without this clarity, we drift. We follow paths that look appealing in the moment, only to wake up years later asking, “Why am I here? I don’t even want this life.” The answer is simple: we never articulated where we wanted to go.
Life is finite, fragile, and precious. To make the most of it, we must define where we want to go. And this is only for those who truly wish to make the most of life.
So it is not “all about the journey.” The destination comes first. It defines the journey. Only then can we truly enjoy the process of walking the path. The question for you is this: What is your destination? What do you truly want from life?
