Your Child’s Mind Is Wet Clay
For roughly the first 25 years of life the subconscious is a wet piece of clay that everything a child sees and hears is shaping, so it is a parent's job to be wisely discerning about what enters it.
Dandapani describes the subconscious mind of a child as wet clay that hardens through the teens and early twenties, shaped by parents, relatives, community and school. He points out that unspoken things a child observes leave impressions too, and argues that filtering what reaches a child's mind is no stranger than filtering a kitchen sink.
What this talk covers
- Your subconscious in the first 25 years of life is like a wet piece of clay you can mold, and it dries and firms up through your teens and early twenties.
- Whatever you observe at home, through your parents, your relatives, your community and the school you go to, is what shapes that clay.
- Impressions are not only made by what is said or done to you, but by what you observe unconsciously, such as how a parent reacts to or talks about money, and reshaping that clay later takes tremendous effort.
- Knowing his seven year old daughter's subconscious is so moldable, he is protective of what goes into it, and he sees it as a parent's duty to be as wisely discerning as they can.
- We put a strainer in the kitchen sink and filters in the AC, the car and the washing machine, so filtering what enters a child's mind is the same discernment applied where it matters most.
Nobody's calling you a helicopter dishwasher, are they?Dandapani
Questions
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Dandapani describes the subconscious as wet clay for roughly the first 25 years of life, hardening through the late teens and early twenties. Anyone growing up in a household during those years is deeply impressed by the people in it.
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Both. He points out that impressions also come from what a child observes unconsciously, like watching how a parent responds to financial matters, even when nothing is directed at the child.
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He does not think so. We put strainers in our sinks and filters in our cars and washing machines without anyone objecting, and he sees it as a parent's duty to be as wisely discerning as they can about what enters a child's mind.
Transcript
533 words · 3:00
If you practice abusive behavior, if you're a part of that cycle, it's very likely it's just you're going to be really good at it. Yes, anything you practice. And you know, Dave, just to give people a perspective on the mind, your subconscious in the first 25 years of your life is like a wet piece of clay that you can mold. And as you grow up and get into your teens and your early 20s, that clay is drying out
and gets really, really firm and hard. So whatever you observe in the home, either through your parents, your relatives, your community, the school that you go into
is shaping that clay. And by the time you get to your late teens and early 20s, that clay is pretty much shaped and formed in its way. And it takes tremendous effort later on then
to go back and reshape that hardened clay, so to speak. And all those impressions that are made in the first 20 years of your life are not only impressions by things that are said to you or done to you,
but things that you may also observe unconsciously. If you see your mom or dad react a certain way to a certain thing, or their perspective that they may have on money, for example, right? And that's how you see your dad react to money or talk about money.
May not be directly at you, but you just see how he responds to financial things. That's creating an impression in your mind, because it's what you're exposed to every day. And you're so right to say that so many people are influenced by their parents.
Anybody growing up in a household for the first 20 years of their life is going to be deeply impressed by the people in the household, what they listen to on TV, what they read, what they listen to on the radio, how they interact, everything. So for me, having a seven year old daughter, I realize her subconscious
is so moldable right now, and I am so protective of what goes in there. And here's the point to keep in mind. We're so protective of our kitchen sink. We put a strainer to collect crap so it doesn't go in our kitchen drain.
Yeah, we won't protect our kids' minds from everything around it. It's like, oh, you're being a helicopter parent. You know, let that expose them. It's like, no, you want to protect your kitchen drain from crap going into it.
Then you put a strainer in. You have filters in your AC, your filters in your car, everything. Nobody's calling you a helicopter dishwasher, are they? No, no one is.
No one's calling you that. But we have filters on everything, all right? where filters are now washing machine to collect lint, and then you go clean the lint thing out,
that catches all that stuff. So as parents, it's our duty and our responsibility to be wisely discerning as to what's entering this mind, knowing that their mind is so impressionable at this point.
And it's our job to be as wisely discerning as we can.