Do you have someone in your life who drains your energy?
What was the first name that came to your mind?
Most of us don’t need to think very long before a name appears. And that alone tells us something important.
Energy is not an abstract concept. Energy makes up everything—all that exists. It makes up your body, your mind, your relationships, and your life. Whatever you invest your energy in, that area of your life begins to grow, whether it’s positive or negative.
Many people focus on practices that help build energy—eating well, exercising, meditating, sleeping better. All of these are important. But what most people overlook is the first and most critical step: plugging the holes where energy is constantly leaking out.
Imagine you wanted to fill a bucket with water. The first thing you would do is check to see if the bucket has any holes in it. If it does, pouring more water in makes no sense. Life works the same way. Your body and mind are like a bucket. You can do all the right practices, but if there are energetic holes, you’ll continue to hemorrhage energy.
You can do all the right practices, but if there are energetic holes, you’ll continue to hemorrhage energy.
One of the biggest consumers of energy in life is people. People can give us energy, but they can also take it. The people who consistently drain our energy, I call “energy vampires.”
When it comes to energy vampires, there are two broad types. The first are transient energy vampires. These are people going through a difficult phase in life. For a period of time—months or even a few years—they may require more energy than usual. And if they are people we love and care about, then consciously choosing to give them more energy is part of being compassionate, understanding, and empathetic.
The second type are inherent energy vampires. These individuals have long-standing mental, emotional, and behavioral patterns that drain energy year after year. This is not temporary. It has been happening for decades, and they have no interest in changing. These are the relationships that require wisdom, boundaries, and conscious management.
Many people struggle to detach from inherent energy vampires, especially when these individuals are relatives or family members. Understandably, this can be very difficult to do, and there is no single solution for every situation. Wisdom is the only rigid rule, as my guru would often say. I would add that in approaching this, we can always strive to be gentle, kind, and compassionate—but affectionately detached.
For every bit of energy they drain from you, that same energy could have been focused on your priorities in life—on the people and things that truly matter to you. From one perspective, you could say you are doing a disservice to those who matter most, because you are denying them energy you’ve allowed to be channeled toward those unaligned with you.
How do we identify what and who are energy vampires in our life? Things can be energy vampires too, you know. And so can the unresolved emotional experiences in your mind. These are the biggest energy vampires in anyone’s life.
Ultimately, we must understand what energy is—and be able to feel it. This gives us the fundamental skill needed to wisely discern what is uplifting and what is not. It’s a training we all should have received, because our life is a direct reflection of where our energy is invested.
